~*~ A Tribute to My Best Friend Nikki ~*~

Nikki entered my life one bright sunny September afternoon, a special day that I'll never forget. I was called to come and pick up your youngest sibling…the last baby of this clutch. When I arrived, I learned that your baby brother was mistakenly given to somebody else. I began to cry because I had waited for this day for so long. With tears streaming down my face I asked the lady breeder if she had any other baby birds. The lady breeder said “No”.

As she said that I heard this shrill shriek. I looked just past the doorway and that's when I saw you for the first time. I pulled the curtain back and you were looking right at me! I asked her, “Why is this beautiful cockatiel all alone in here?” She replied that nobody wanted a mean-spirited biting bird. When I asked her if I could hold you, she replied “No”. Gently, like a child I walked right past her and towards your cage.

Our eyes met again when you lifted your head up to look at me. It was love at first sight. Again I asked, could I hold you…just once? I opened your cage door and gently put my hand inside your cage. The lady breeder was whining in the background that you were going to bite my head off. At the very least my finger!!!

To her amazement, you climbed onto my hand without a fuss. That moment was the beginning of one of the most important relationships in my life. Nikki, for seventeen long years you were my best friend. You were the most loving bird. Many times you were the only one who loved me.

I know that you felt my pain through your body. I could see the love in your eyes. Maybe our pain was the silver cord that connected us and through that we were able to experience so much happiness. The kind of happiness that only comes from the love shared between a human and a companion animal. No matter what our circumstance they never turn us away because they are too busy. You were always there for me.

I'm always going to miss hearing you talk. “Pretty Bird” “I love You” “Give me a Kiss” “come here” “Nikki” “Suzy” “Pretty Suzie” with your whistling whew!

You were such a character, untying my shoe-laces, talking to my feet (this was so funny). Later, you learned to whistle songs and dance around. I remember your beak…covered in pasta (that was your favorite) especially when you would go for a seed and your beak would be covered in pasta and seeds! You looked so funny and did it so often. You always made me laugh. You learned to laugh too…and you laughed a lot. We had a lot to be happy about.

Thank you for letting me love you. Thank you for allowing me to hold you whenever you crashed into the wall. You were never a good flyer my little friend, but you never gave up trying.

I remember when you and I were huddled under the kitchen table while we were having a large earthquake. We were there for a long time that day.

When I cried, you always wanted to be near me. Whenever I would cry you could always help me put a smile on my face. You were my reason for greeting the sunrise and my partner for watching the sunset. We shared a wonderful lifetime together.

Then, you became ill. I knew reality was that you could leave me at any given time. Three weeks before you died, you were very, very, sick. When you suddenly lost your coordination I felt something stir deep in my heart. I knew then that this would be your time but I could in no way accept that. I believe that you wanted to stay with me forever. But, your body was very weak and you were letting go this time.

You had a wonderfully strong heart Nikki. So much love to give. You were always there for me. I didn't know what to feel at first. All I knew was that things were about to change. All these years later I still miss you. I was blessed to have been with you when you left this world. It hurt me to hold you in pain but I wanted to. As I was holding you I remembered you as a baby. The brightness and meaning you brought into my life was incredible.

I held you close to my heart. I kept you warm and you rested your head on my chest. You were content to listen to the beat of my heart. I held you close and caressed your precious little crest on your head. As I was telling you how much I loved you, you had a spurt of energy and looked up at me. You said everything you knew. Then, you said “I love you Suzie”. ( The first and only time you would ever say those four words together ). Your body became tense and you were bleeding. Gasping for air you tried so hard to fight it. Then, your head fell down and you were laying limp in my hands. I remember you died with your right eye open still gazing at me. Your other eye peacefully drifted closed.

I will always remember that once my hands nurtured you for so many years. This was the day I was always afraid of. I had to remind myself that you would want me to remember you in a good way. I held on to the feeling that you would be re-born and that we would meet again someday. This was before I knew of Rainbow Bridge. It would take me over two years to find the Rainbow Bridge. There truly was a special place where you would be waiting for me!!

I will always miss you Nikki, forever. I will always love you Nikki,…forever. Thank you for letting me love you and for allowing yourself to heal and be loved in return. I miss you my baby Nikki. I didn't know what my future would be but I did realize that you gave me wings to fly on my own. I always felt that you gave me your wings. There were large changes about to happen in my life. I still have you in my heart Nikki and your spirit is alive. There's a shiny black kitty that holds my memories of you. I couldn't let go of you completely so this way I can hold you whenever I need to. Then I remember we enjoyed all that life had to offer for 17 years.

It was through your love that I learned the true meaning of respect.
It was in loving you that I learned how special life can be.
It was in losing you that I realized how much I would miss you.
It was in missing you that I feel blessed to have known you.


Here's a little bird somebody sent
Down to the Earth to live on the wind
Blowing on the wind
And she sleeps on the wind
This little bird somebody sent.

Light and fragile and feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful, the sun shining through
She flies so high up in the sky
Way out of reach of human eyes.

Light and fragile and feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful, the sun shining through
She flies so high up in the sky
Way out of reach of human eyes.

Light and fragile, she's feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful the sun shining through
And the only time that she touches ground
Is when that little bird, little bird
Is when that little bird dies.

Nikki, you were the beginning of an everlasting love that I had never experienced until you entered my life. While our bodies may be physically separated . In our souls we are connected forever. A love so powerful and pure can never be broken. Love knows no distance or time when it lives on in the heart forever. The Sunday after you died, I attended a church service with some special friends. They had helped me through some of the most devastating heartache I had ever experienced. The pastor chose to speak about how pain cannot be avoided. At the end of the service he said: “To achieve happiness and experience love – we need to accept the pain that accompanies loving”. I will always miss you Nikki…until we meet one day.... ( to be continued…)

Suzy, ( littlelb )

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the music ~*~ Absence of Fear ~*~

LittleLB's Page Two