When I held you in my arms the first time our paths crossed it was like magic.
Those big green eyes and that big fluffy tail won me over.
Even though you were only 6 weeks old, you knew that you have found your mommy,
and were determined to go home with me.
It was as if God had told you loud and clear
that it was time for you to meet the love of your life.

We spent 10 wonderful years together.
I can still feel you cuddling next to me by the fire
on all our trips up to Big Bear Mountain.
I will never forget all the birthdays, Halloweens, Thanksgivings and Christmas's.
I still have your favorite purple blanket next to me on the right side of our bed,
just in case you come to sleep next to me.
I hope we can see each other in my dreams.
I still feel your love and your energy in the house.
I know how much you loved our house and you were
and will always be the queen of this house.

I know our time was cut short this year.
I want to thank you for always being here for me through the rough times in my life.
I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you when my dad died last year.
You were my rock, the reason for waking up and coming home.
August 11, 2007 was the worst day of my life; I had to let you go.
I have never been apart from you more than 2 weeks at a time,
so you can only imagine how hard it was for me to make this decision.
I had to show you that I was not selfish,
and loved you too much to allow you to continue to be strong for me.
I could see in your eyes that you were ready to leave this world.
Do you still remember what I use to say to you?
"I love you more today then I did yesterday.
How is that possible Mamacita?"
Well, I still feel that way...I love you more and more each day.

I know I need to be strong and if I can't do it for myself, I need to do it for you.
I don't want you to worry about me; you have given me so much love.
So run and be free, free of pain, no more cancer.
When it's time for me to leave this world and join you in the next world,
listen closely and if you hear me say,
"Who does the mama love, does the mama love the baby?"
Run...run to me baby for I'll be crossing the Rainbow Bridge!
The spiritual connection you and I have will always stay strong;
you are permanently engraved in my mind, my soul, and my heart.
You are so beautiful, so thank you for picking me to be your mommy.
Thank you for giving me so much joy my Pookee girl.

Your Mommy For Eternity,

Diane Carrillo

P.S. Remember,

Where are you this moment?
only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
a heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
but time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you,
is there a sign I should know,
is there a road I could follow
to bring you back home?

Winter lies before me
now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
the light of you will stay

If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
if I could reach out and touch you
and bring you back home

Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I could follow
to bring you back home to me

Performed by Enya

If I Could Be Where You Are
By Enya

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