My precious puppy boy, it has been a month,
and the pain is getting worse. I don´t fear anything anymore,
all my fears have been confirmed, what can be worse that this?

How dared I not to realize that I had it all when your beautiful presence filled this emptiness
I wasn´t aware I had in my soul? Now I have learned what loneliness means, now I have learned
what regret and guilt means, now I have learned what “too late” means, and it is so cruel.

This life does not feel right without you, I only exist now.

Thank you for the privilege of walking by your side, for your smile, for your forgiveness, for always being happy,
thank you for making me laugh, for your precious _expression, for those eyes, always watchful,
and, now I come to think about it…. You knew it, didn´t you?, that´s why you were watching my every thought, god,
you always knew I would have to get through this….
Without your physical presence, it feels so lonely…..
I miss you so much.

Thank you, my angel, for your two last weeks, when I needed you most, I love you so much
and, since I can feel so much love for you, since I so desperately miss you, that can only mean that you feel
the same, how can all this feelings don´t find a recipient and just fade away in the nothingness?
If you weren´t real right now, right here, how could I then feel my soul screaming for you?
Because the soul knows, and it calls, and it will not be whole again, until we re-unite on the eternal beach
of laughs and play, and, God, so many holes to be digged are waiting, and so much shore to be runned upon,
and so much sand to get messy with, so many sticks to fetch! Everything´s being arranged right now, for you and
me, and for all the little friends, they are all waiting.

But I know, my love, that you´re not there yet, that you´re right at the Gates, waiting for me, just wait longer my
my precious puppy, wait, like you have always done, you know I always come home, time is not important.

We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Author Unknown

My precious puppy boy, just as you thought I would have walked away like
everybody else after telling you how cute you were, back at the shelter that day,
and I proved to you that dreams do come true, and that real love comes back,
it is me this time that needs that reassurance, and I ask you to come back for me,
because it is me who feels left behind today, and sometimes I don’t believe
in anything anymore.

Thank you for your precious company, and for all the memories of walks on
the snow, or under the sun, for your smile an laughs, for your happiness.
I know your presence surrounds me all the time, and that I choose to close
my eyes and look at the past only, but that past somehow feels as if it never
went away, and is alive, and is my definition of Heaven.

A past that I want so bad to come back…..

I’ll come back home to you, as I have always done… you know that.

When I first held you in my hands and looked into the eyes of love
My heart filled with wonder that someone so small could fill my life with so much
Love and happiness. I watched you grow from an adorable Puppy to a regal King
We bonded in the twinkle of a glowing star and that bond will always join us by a silver thread
My hands and arms had to let you go for now, but you are forever held in my heart
I see you sunning yourself in the warmth of the sun and you feel the kisses I send
On the rays of the sun. Until we are one again I give you my heart to hold, and soul to touch
With these hands I will reach out to you and gather you close and never let you go,
Until then I send you hugs on the colours of the Rainbow. Love always your Mamma

©J.C. Stewart~BarTendersBluesWolf~February 23, 2006

From Hearts That Care

Music~*~Stevie Wonder~*~OverJoyed

Back to Memorials Page