My hubby came home from work and said
that a ferrel cat had had kittens under
his work shop. They hadn't seen the
mum for days but had been putting milk
and food down for the kittens. That
explained why he was pinching my other
cats food and taking it to work. He took
me in at the weekend to see them and
although we could only watch from a
distance I fell in love. There was a
black and white one (Felix) and grey tabby
and a white with bits of orange on him.
Mick said he could catch them if I
wanted but he only managed to get Felix,
who was the more adventurous of all 3.
He used a basket on its side with rope
attached to the lid, put food in and
waited till Felix went to eat and bingo!

I took him to the vets because he was
covered in fleas and I had no idea how old
he was and what to use. The vet said
about 4-5 weeks and give him a good
check over and home we came with
worm tablets and flea drops.

I wasn't working then and Felix came
everywhere with me. He was my constant
companion. I danced with him, sang to
him, slept with him, played with him but
most of all adored and loved him. I was
constantly scared that I love him so
much he would be taken early, which
was strange because he was only 16
months. Can you love something too much?

He sulked when he got neutered and
wouldn't come out of the cage for the vet, I
had to go in and as soon as I said,
wheres my gorgeous boy, he came to me
straight away. He was pampered and
spoilt extra that night.

He loved tuna, he could be asleep on the
bed and as soon as the can was open he
was there and usually ended up with
most of the tin! He loved cheese and
chocolate, in fact he loved all the foods
I loved. I used to get him the chicken
and cheese treats from tescos and
they could coax him in from outside all the
time with just a shake of the bag.
How I shook that bag all around the
streets when he was missing. I used to
shake them at bed time and he had
some every night in the bedroom
before settling down to bed. He was a
tinker though and usually wanted to go out
at silly times like 4am or 5am!

He was never very lively and had a terrible
sense of balance. He could not walk
along the bottom of the pine bed
without falling off. He had a silly playful
half hour every night at 9.30pm on the
dot but was never as fast and lively as
the 2 new cats I have now. Because my
other cat is 14 and sedate and its years
since I had a kitten I didn't think
anything of it, but I now think it may have
been an underlying disorder not picked
up by the vet. My guess is something in
his brain because of his bad balance.

He used to get on the cabinet in front of
the tv, so we had to look at him and not
the telly, which was so comical. He also
used to sleep under the rug in the
lounge. He loved boxes and carrier bags and
we was not allowed to get rid of his old
favourite until a new one came in the
house. His favourite place to sleep was on
my chest, suckling on my hand like a baby.
He loved that and it was sheer bliss for him.

It took him a year to work out how to climb
the fence and get out of the garden
because of his balance. He loved it
though and I often saw him sneaking in the
old ladies bungalow at the back of us,
though her cat flap. She loved him
because her cat was long gone.

He had lots of names, Fee, fee fee bloom,
sausage, phoebe boy, gorgeous boy,
beautiful baby. He came to all of his
names. He was so pretty for a little boy
and was so special. I have had lots of
cats over the years and loved them all,
but there was just something that bit
more special about Felix. I don't know
why, but he was definitely a soul mate,
special, wonderful, truly all mine.

When he was missing, I had a gut feeling. I
knew he was gone. I searched and
searched and shook his sweeties, made
fliers, posted them on every door but
knew. I prayed and prayed to find his
little body so I could bury it and we did
on Christmas day. He was so close, in
next doors garden. I looked over the
fence lots over the days, and down her
path but he was between her bins out
of site or view. How I hated myself for
not asking to go into the garden. It was
24 hours before I could bury him, I
wanted to warm him up, which sounds
strange but he was so cold. He is now in
the bushes where he used to hide from
me. I put flowers there and will make a
memorial in the summer, with maybe a
rose bush.

I truly miss him and cannot wait to see him
again, but know I will do in gods time only.

When I found you my precious Felix
I was as happy as can be
I sent my thanks to god above
For sending you to me.

At that time I was so happy
you would hardly hear me moan
I didn't think at that time
You were given to me on loan.

I thought we'd be together
for years and years and years
You were taken away unexpectedly
How I shed those tears.

You really were my soul mate
tied by a special bond
I wish I could have you back again
wave a magic wand.

I have you in my heart now
those wonderful memories
You're in the rain, the snow, the stars
the wind that rocks the trees.

I feel that I was honored
to have you a short time
You really was so special
because you was all mine.

I will always, always miss you
and still will shed a tear
But all I do is close my eyes
and know you will be near.

Goodnight my darling kitty
because its not goodbye
One day we will meet again
on that rainbow in the sky.

You're Beautiful
By James Blunt

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