~ Barry Manilow ~*~ Even Now ~

Our Beloved Macy

To Lose A Beloved Friend

We are not the same people again , something in us does change when we lose a pet. I think I have stated that it is almost as if I have "swallowed" something that will forever remain a part of me. It is a funny feeling, but sometimes it is like wearing a medal that only I can see, because it means that I was given the gift of love from my dog Macy and that she was sent to me from God. I wouldn't give that up for anything in the world.

One thing that did help me to carry on with my family is that the light of my Macy dog's life was my daughter. I thought that giving my daughter care and attention was the most pleasing thing I could do for Macy, as she would have wanted that. Macy was very caring and protective and stayed very close to my daughter during her life with her. Plus communicating with our children about the loss can add some perspective while also allowing for your children to open up about it. My daughter is only 4, but she has gained a remarkable understanding of grief and loss through all of this. We share our feelings of missing Macy every day, especially when going about our routines where Macy was always present in the past. The poem that follows on page 2 of this memorial came to me very quickly and was most certainly an inspiration straight from Macy. I hope that others will be able to find comfort through this inspiration.

They say that time heals all wounds, but I don't want to forget how much I loved her. I understand God's need to help me close the wound so that I can go on, but I can't bear losing the intensity of my feelings. I think about all of the special dogs I had throughout my life, and how hard losing each one of them was, but I was able to go on and I can live without them and without the hurt anymore. If you ask me what dog I want to see again, hands down, it is Macy. What will happen if I get another pet and it diminishes my desire to see Macy again,.....

It came to me that possibly God closes the wound so that we can serve our time here on earth fulfilling our remaining purposes and discovering more of His gifts, more love that is yet to come to us. He doesn't want us to forget how we felt; just the intensity of it goes away. The wound is closed until you enter heaven and then the intensity of your memory comes back when you are reunited with those you loved. So nothing is lost but rather, life on earth is measured in time because over time we are given a "collection" of special relationships/ people or animals that come into our lives and that we lose. When we lose one we gain another to help our time on earth. The ones who leave us for heaven can be happy because they don't have to measure time or "wait" for us in earthly terms. When the day comes for us to enter heaven all those "relationships" that we were shown on earth and cherished/ missed so much will reappear and then so will the buried emotions. We won't have to call the buried emotions "wounds" because they have healed but yet our minds/hearts will be able to recall exactly they ways we felt and we will once again have the intensity of the feelings. Maybe that is why when people are "ready" to die, they are drawn into heaven, because their "Collection" of beautiful relationships lost on earth awaits them.

Makes me look forward to heaven all the more. I think there has to be everything like that in order for us to be eternally happy. Someone I know once said that heaven is a place that is "better than you could ever imagine".

I feel very honored that God gave me such a gift and entrusted me to take care of Macy, His creature. Something that special just cannot ever be erased.

~ (c) Anne Sponseller ~