Run Now, My Beautiful Jasmine Girl
I'll Catch Up a Little Further Down the Road

I know Mykal has waited patiently for your arrival. Share with him my hugs and kisses and all of my love. Godspeed my Jasmine... My heart is broken but I know you are free and reunited with Mykie now. I find comfort in that. Visit when you can, please help me to continue to believe that you and your brother are still with me and will never ever leave. I love you and look forward to seeing you at the Bridge.

I will be looking for your star tonight, and each and every night until we are together again... It is not "good-bye", it is "good morning" or "sweet dreams" or "until we meet again". It is never good-bye.

My baby girl passed just before 8 am on Wednesday, September 16th. We had an appt with her vet Tuesday but an emergency and subsequent surgeries led to rescheduling for noon Wednesday. My Jasmine made the rules all the way up til the very end...I'm confident she wanted it this way.

I was up at 3 am until just after 4 am checking on her, gave her meds and lots hugs and special kisses. I set the alarm for 8 and woke up in the midst of a panic attack when the alarm went off...I'm sure she had a little something to do with that - I found my girl had just crossed, within minutes and just a couple of feet from my head, right next to me.

I could choose to look at it as a terrible way to start the day; or I could choose to consider that my gurrrl was only thinking of me... Bless her precious heart...sparing me the added agony of taking her in and going thru the motions of euthanasia. I honestly couldn't have asked for anything more than how things worked out.

Jasmine and I had our 'talk' - we both understood it was time. She had a mild stroke a last weekend and tho damage was minimal, it was enough to force the inevitable much sooner than hoped. She was pretty blatant with her eyes, leaving me with no doubt that she was ready.

I thought Mykie's traumatic passing may have been to help prepare me for his sister's. I'm not so sure that's the case, but then maybe I just don't realize it.

Adjusting to a new life after 15 1/2 years with her by my side... I don't know how I'll do it but I will have to somehow. She wouldn't have it any other way and I wouldn't want to disappoint her or her brother. I still remember the day I went to pick her up - she was only 4 weeks old, so tiny and so helpless. Just a little angel.

Jasmine and Mykal are part of everything in my life - I even bought my house and suv with consideration for them. From washing her blankets and pillows, to finding an appropriate place for her bowl and harness...it's picking up the pieces and moving on that leaves me feeling broken. I lose it constantly and have been since around last Saturday when I knew the inevitable had to be done. I am grateful the choice was made...I pray she didn't suffer.

Wish me luck in figuring out not only how to simply carry on, but also to do so without playing the "wuda, cuda, shuda" game, or getting stuck on the "if only" roller coaster ride. I just hope I did right by my girl in these past few months.

Hug your babies, tell them each and every single day how much you love them. Let them know they are cherished for all that they are.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers...know it is appreciated. It really means a lot. For those who've 'been there', you know what a lonely pain this is... I may be the only one who has to make it thru somehow but it's a little easier knowing so many others truly 'get it'.

With these hands I held you near to my heart
gently stroking your ebony fur.
Your voice is the most beautiful music
soaring with the love we will always share.
With these hands I kept you close.

These hands had to let you go for now.
This heart forever holds you in it.
You are the center of my heart.
Each beat answers your whispers
of love from the bridge.

My soul reminds me there will come
a day these hands will hold you again.
Never to let go, your smile shall warm my
very being. Till that day I know
you are near.

© BarTendersBluesWolf
Aka J.C. Stewart
2009

After the storm had blown away,
I saw a rainbow up above.
It spoke to me of peace,
It spoke to me of love.

I saw the rainbow glowing,
As it replaced the stormy skies,
I felt a fear down deep inside,
As it reflected in my eyes.

In a shadow I stood there,
Tall and strong and bold,
On my cheeks ran silver teardrops,
Some were new and some were old.

My love for you
Glows in each silver tear,
The colors run together now,
And wipes away my fears.

©LoboWolf
aka Don Dade

In the quiet corners of my life I feel you
Always hovering - always near
There, but not there, just out of my view
A comfortable companion

  I've noticed you for a while and wondered
Were you cause for fear or hope
I've wondered if my thoughts were heard
Or if you were aware of me at all

  Are you my memories lingering to haunt me
With wishes I cannot make true
Are you Time standing there just to taunt me
Echoes of the past and the future

  With the passage of time as I begin to heal
And memories become warm and sweet
I realize that you are my lost one's love I feel
Bidding me hope as they watch over me.

  In the quiet corners of my life I feel you
Always hovering - always near
There, but not there, just out of my view
A comfortable companion
Loving, watching, caring

© Candace 10.13.05

Jasmine Mist for the background lovingly made by Anna Weir of Aw Designs

Light a candle in Jasmine's memory, for a sick, abused, or special needs furbaby, or perhaps just someone who needs a prayer and a candle lit.