Nitro's Tale Nitro stretched and woke slowly. “Odd,” he thought, “I don't feel as tired." He heard a rottie chuckle - the voice was clearly another Rottweiler but none he knew. He looked up and was looking into the eyes of a larger rottie he had never seen, but somehow he seemed familiar. Then he noticed the large white – no silver – wolf standing beside the rottie and startled backwards. A soothing hand caressed his head, “Momma IS here,” he exclaimed. Now the larger rotti looked sad and shook his head. “No little brother, this angel carried our momma’s love to you. Momma does not yet know.” Nitro looked up and realized that he spoke truly – the hand he felt was of a beautiful being, but not Momma. What had they been called? Oh yes, an angel. He began to look around, there were many he knew gathered at the small pond – they had been at the kennel also. And there was an angel with each of them. Nitro looked back at the large rottie. “I don’t remember this park. Will Momma and Dad and Bella and Christine be here soon? – I soooo want to play with them.” The rottie looked back at the large silver wolf a bit perplexed, “Well, now what Pooky? He just does not get it!” The wolf grinned and his eyes sparkled with mischief, “He will – I told you this was not gonna be easy, Kato.” Nitro’s ears went alert and his eyes got even bigger. Kato? Here? He looked around again. “Kato? Momma’s Kato?” he asked quietly. “But momma didn’t have a wolf.” Nitro began to concentrate – he had heard Momma speak of a Pooky. There was a man Momma knew – oh yes, Momma called him Papa and he called her Cubster, he had lost a wolf named Pooky. Slowly he began to piece the facts and picture together. “Am I . . .?” he started – and Kato nodded yes to him. “How? I don’t remember. Momma doesn’t know?” came tumbling out of Nitro with no time for any answers. Kato looked to Pooky for support. “I’m right here for you my friend,” Pooky answered. Kato sighed and looked back at Nitro. “The man who ran that kennel is a bad person, Little Brother. Momma and Dad didn’t know, they searched for the best and thought you would be safe there and would learn. This angel went to be with you and made that time a brief moment you don’t really remember and kept you wrapped in Momma’s and Dad’s love.” Tears formed in Kato’s eyes and he looked at the others around them. “The same was done for each of you there, to shield you all as best we could. Momma and Dad and Christine will know soon, they will need us then to comfort them and carry them our love. Bella will need help to understand why you did not come home with them and why they cry so much and are so sad.” Just then Nitro heard them, Momma and Dad and Christine, crying. He look around for them then to Kato since they were no where he could see. “They sound so close? Where are they?” he asked. “I have something to show you, come with me please,” answered Pooky. Nitro looked at him stunned, crossed his paws under his chin and set his jaw. The only place he wanted to go was to his people, to go home. Now this wolf wanted to show him something? Pooky grinned at Kato, “I see what you mean, see if he will listen to you.” Kato went over beside Nitro, “This is your choice Little Brother, I’m going with Pooky to see Momma and Dad and Christine. Stay here if you wish.” Kato turned to go. Nitro jumped to his feet, “They are here? I can go home now?” Kato looked back with very sad eyes. “We can see them, they will likely not see or hear us. But if we can reach past the grief they can feel us. You cannot go with them – for now we will wait here for them. But we can visit from time to time, and from here we can see them, watch over them.” With that he turned to walk toward the small pond. The pond was lovely, more perfect than any he had ever seen, with a surface like a perfect mirror. As he drew closer he realized this was where he heard the voices coming from. He looked at Kato and Pooky, confused. “If you will come closer you will see them also,” encouraged Pooky. “They are just seeing the kennel,” said Kato. “you will be able to see them, but not the kennel Little Brother.” As they watched the days unfolded, he heard them say, this one was their baby, saw someone later hand Momma and Dad a small box and they cried again as Kato explained that the box was his ashes, and watched as they talked to so many people about how bad the kennel man was. “How can so many days seem to go so fast?” he asked. Then he saw they were home and they were all so unhappy. “Time has no meaning here.” said Pooky. He continued watching. “Why do they do this to themselves,” he asked at length. “If I cannot go home to them, why not just move on? Forget the pain? They will be with me one day, I have heard Momma say that about you being gone. Why suffer so?” Kato answered slowly, “They hurt that you are gone and want it to never happen to another, Nitro.” Pooky chimed in, “In time you will learn how to visit them and comfort them, in time they will cry happy tears at the wonderful memories. For now they try to understand what they cannot, and to make sense of what a monster has done. Sadly, your momma feels guilt and shame even though she has no reason to. She needs you to be near Little One, to help her heal.” “What?!” exclaimed Nitro. “This is not her fault! Maybe if I had been more willing to grow up and behave . . . .” Kato looked sadly at his little brother, “No, Nitro, this is not your fault either. The fault, shame, and guilt all belong to the kennel.” Kato and Nitro laid down at the edge of the pond. Nitro looked at his older brother, “Can you help me? Teach me to visit and comfort them?” Kato looked back at him, “Yes, we will be their guardians until we are together again.” © Candace 10/29/08 Light a candle in memory of Nitro, for all those hurt or lost, for a sick, abused, or special needs furbaby, or perhaps just someone who needs a prayer and a candle lit.