I am lost without you. I wander from room to room aimlessly. If I were to lose everything, but still have you, it would be worth it. If I were to win an Olympic gold medal, or the lottery it would not come close to your value. Loosing you can only be compared to losing the best of life itself. If my eyes were to never see another sunset, or first snow, if I were to never hear another bird song, or a newborn baby’s cry, if I were to never smell another fragrant flower, if I were to never again taste an ice cream cone, dance at my daughter’s wedding, or feel a loved one’s embrace, these things would not compare to losing you.

I want to tell you how very sorry I am that I didn’t know you were so sick. You were always so happy even on your last day. I have memories of you sitting in the sun on that last day. That night, I realized you were sick, and you sat on my lap still loving me. I keep going to that place where we sat. I try to feel you there. I pet the air, and call your name. Remember our song Beautiful, Beautiful Boy. Remember when I had surgery and you stayed right by my side as I lay in bed. I want to say thank you for that, and for all the little things you did to show me you loved me.

Boosca, you were the first thing I looked for when I got home, and you would come running to greet me. Even when I was gone on a trip, and someone else was taking care of you, I thought about you constantly, and couldn’t wait to get back to you. I can never say thing you enough to show you my gratitude for you being in my life. I can never apologize enough for not recognizing your diabetes.

I am hoping and praying that you did not suffer with this disease, and that you know how very sorry I am. Thank you for waiting to die until I got home, and giving me that last day. I know that must not have been easy for you, but it was just one more thing you did for me. You were such a precious innocent little guy.

When I got you as a baby at the rescue center you chose me. You ran up to me begging to be picked. How could I not choose you. It was as if you already knew me, and I, you. When you slipped out of the house and got lost, and I looked for you all night, the next morning I was crying inside the house, and Terry came running in and said, “Here he is.” You found your way back to me. It looked like you had a rough night. I was so glad to have you back. What I wouldn’t give to have you back in my arms right now even if only for a minute.

Because of you, I have known pure love, and acceptance. During your life with me, I wanted you to never know anything but love. I never wanted you to feel an angry touch, or hear a hateful word. I wanted you to know only beauty, and loving hands. I took such pleasure in watching you enjoy the sunshine, or a special treat, or going to sleep in my lap. I wanted you to know sweet songs, and lullabies, and soft caresses upon your head. Now, I so want you to know that you were loved every day of your life with me. These are the things I want you to remember.

Boosca, may you soar on wings of eagles, and sing with the angels, sit in heavenly sunshine, sleep in the softest of beds, and know that you are embraced by love that is so strong even death can not touch it. What a blessing you were to me.

Thank you for being my friend and my baby,
Mommy

Light a candle in Boosca's memory, for a sick, abused, or special needs furbaby, or perhaps just someone who needs a prayer and a candle lit.