I am lost without you. I wander from room to room aimlessly. If I
were to lose everything, but still have you, it would be worth it. If I were to
win an Olympic gold medal, or the lottery it would not come close to your
value. Loosing you can only be compared to losing the best of life itself. If
my eyes were to never see another sunset, or first snow, if I were to never
hear another bird song, or a newborn baby’s cry, if I were to never smell
another fragrant flower, if I were to never again taste an ice cream cone,
dance at my daughter’s wedding, or feel a loved one’s embrace, these things
would not compare to losing you.
I want to tell you how very sorry I am that I didn’t know you were so
sick. You were always so happy even on your last day. I have memories of
you sitting in the sun on that last day. That night, I realized you were sick,
and you sat on my lap still loving me. I keep going to that place where we
sat. I try to feel you there. I pet the air, and call your name. Remember our
song Beautiful, Beautiful Boy. Remember when I had surgery and you stayed
right by my side as I lay in bed. I want to say thank you for that, and for all
the little things you did to show me you loved me.
Boosca, you were the first thing I looked for when I got home, and you
would come running to greet me. Even when I was gone on a trip, and
someone else was taking care of you, I thought about you constantly, and
couldn’t wait to get back to you. I can never say thing you enough to show
you my gratitude for you being in my life. I can never apologize enough for
not recognizing your diabetes.
I am hoping and praying that you did not suffer with this disease, and
that you know how very sorry I am. Thank you for waiting to die until I got
home, and giving me that last day. I know that must not have been easy for
you, but it was just one more thing you did for me. You were such a precious
innocent little guy.
When I got you as a baby at the rescue center you chose me. You ran
up to me begging to be picked. How could I not choose you. It was as if you
already knew me, and I, you. When you slipped out of the house and got
lost, and I looked for you all night, the next morning I was crying inside the
house, and Terry came running in and said, “Here he is.” You found your
way back to me. It looked like you had a rough night. I was so glad to have
you back. What I wouldn’t give to have you back in my arms right now even
if only for a minute.
Because of you, I have known pure love, and acceptance. During your
life with me, I wanted you to never know anything but love. I never wanted
you to feel an angry touch, or hear a hateful word. I wanted you to know
only beauty, and loving hands. I took such pleasure in watching you enjoy
the sunshine, or a special treat, or going to sleep in my lap. I wanted you to
know sweet songs, and lullabies, and soft caresses upon your head. Now, I
so want you to know that you were loved every day of your life with me.
These are the things I want you to remember.
Boosca, may you soar on wings of eagles, and sing with the angels, sit
in heavenly sunshine, sleep in the softest of beds, and know that you are
embraced by love that is so strong even death can not touch it. What a
blessing you were to me.
Thank you for being my friend and my baby,
Light a candle in Boosca's memory, for a sick, abused, or special needs furbaby,
or perhaps just someone who needs a prayer and a candle lit.