This is to honor my boy and his bridge day April 5, 2005 Kato
A big lovable mush face Rottie boy who wouldn’t hurt a flea,
In my 50 years (can’t believe I’m telling my age lol) I have never had the same dream over and over. I find this to be very strange and I never know when I will have this dream – there doesn’t seem to be any pattern –I’m not overtired, I’m not stressed, etc. it just happens and I awake feeling so comforted. I hope it helps to comfort others as well as my boy lived for nothing else except to love and comfort others (ok I shall admit he loved food too lol).
I actually feel my body floating, I’m light as air, even lighter than a feather – as I get closer and closer I can see something in the distance but I cannot quite make out what it is. I immediately sense such a peaceful feeling, I don’t think there are any words in the English language that can describe the actual feeling that comes over me, except to say it’s a feeling I’ve never experienced in my life. While I have no idea where I am going, I have absolutely no fear.
It’s distinctly visible there is no sense of time “no clock”. In my life and in the hustle and busy city I live in, there are always deadlines, too many things to do, not enough hours in the day, etc., and this feeling of no time fulfills my desire to look deeper, sparks my curiosity even more I am so anxious I want to see more. I continue to look around in every different direction I notice many kitties, puppers, bunnies, birds, guinea pigs and every animal imaginable all gathered in another area. As I get closer and closer to them I can clearly see what they are doing – they are at a “treat bar”. Oh how I smile and think to myself, these lil pigsters. There is liver ice-cream and many different flavored ice creams, a huge pizza bar, veggie bar, and loads and loads of cakes, pies and all sorts of treats and yummies. I can also clearly see them talking to each other, socializing, smiling and happy while they continue to eat away – yet no one is chubby, no one is old, no one is frail or sick – everyone is so very healthy.
As I get closer to the image the feeling gets stronger and stronger and stronger. The majestic haze begins to lift and everything becomes clearer and clearer. At first I see the most gorgeous colossal field I have ever seen – the thick grass is so very green, the flowers are every color imaginable, the smell of the air is fresh, a sparkling with life spring morning but yet it’s not damp, nor hot, nor cold. The temperature is absolutely perfect. There is a slight breeze, it’s a warm breeze but again not too warm – just perfect – absolutely magnificent.
I observe lots and lots of animals – some are playing, some are napping in the sun, some are eating and some are drinking from a very deep blue colored fresh water lake. I hear birds, lots and lots of birds singing in perfect harmony. As I turn I see a lamb standing right next to a wolf and I think to myself wow how tame they are - there aren’t any enemies here, everyone is connected, everything is just so peaceful and so very majestically beautiful. I am also amazed that while I am seeing all of these animals, there is absolutely no animal smell at all, the air is magnificent. I am somewhat bewildered as none of the animals seem to notice I am there peeking in on all of this.
At this point I am so curious I just can’t get enough and want to look around more as I turn in another direction I realize I cannot see – the brown grass is too high, it’s too tall. Another feeling now comes over me, I am feeling a lil disappointed, why oh why does this brown grass have to be so tall? I’m pleading Then a different feeling hits me – I feel an intense burning in my chest but it’s a very warm feeling – I think to myself, I know what this feeling is – it is the feeling of “love”.
As I get closer and closer I see something looking at me – This puzzles me as all of the animals didn’t seem to notice me at all through my entire visit. I cannot stop staring –as I get closer and closer and closer I see the most beautiful huge deep wide-eyed almond shaped brown eyes peeking out from behind the tall grass. I think to myself no this cannot be happening –this cannot be possible - it just can’t be. I am not 100% sure I know whose eyes these are and I am doubting my instincts but I do sense they are warm, deeply intense, inviting and soooo very loving. My heart is now beating faster and faster and faster yet I feel calm. The breeze is blowing slightly more now and the tall brown grass is gently parting more and more. As I get closer I realize wow it’s my boy! I almost faint. Oh my – oh my - he’s so beautiful – he’s so perfect – he’s so handsome, he’s not old – he’s not limping, no hip dysplasia, no labored breathing, no gook in his eyes, I cannot believe this – but yes it is him and he can see me - he is looking at me! As we get closer and closer the speed picks up and we are approaching each other at rocket speed, the joy is overwhelming. Then we touch – he jumps all over me but yet I don’t fall over – hmmm I think this is no Chihuahua (no disrespect to Chihuahuas but Kato’s lean weight 145 lbs.lol) – he kisses me and oh boy do I kiss and hug him – his fur is so soft, so beautiful and it feels as if we’ve never been separated for a single day.
We sit together under our favorite tree the weeping willow and just gaze into each other’s eyes – not a word needs to be spoken – we’ve always read each other’s minds and I think of the words from my favorite poem The Journey “it doesn’t matter what we do or where we are, all long as we are together”. Together we are never to be separated again
THIS CONCLUDES MY DREAM.
I didn’t have this dream until a lil over 2 years after my boy had passed. While I have lost many babies through the years I have never experienced the love and bond I had with my Kato. I do know that Kato had a huge paw in bringing me to the Petloss Family as he loved me too much and couldn’t rest unless I was o.k. I have never been in a chat room, I didn’t know what to do or what ty, yvw, lol (((((())))),wolves, meant – clicking on links, etc., nothing. There isn’t a single day I don’t thank God for this room, EdW, Papa, my older sister Jackie, all the wolves and all of you both long-time family members and new.
Through my loss I have found all of you – and if that isn’t the greatest gift our babies can give us upon their departing I honestly don’t know what is. We are truly blessed and I would never ever trade all of the pain in the world and not have Kato and all my babies in my life. It’s so worth it. There isn’t a single moment of a single second of each and every day that I don’t miss my Kato, but when I think of him now, I feel warmth – not pain. It truly does get better – I promise and we shall see our babies again!
Papa Lobo, BartendersBlues, Noble,Music, Red, Aurich, Care, Ghatten, Abbey, and so many others that I can’t remember cause I was so devastated in the beginning, would tell me lean on us Kato, hold our paws till you are strong enough to walk on your own – we are here for you.
If you are new to the Petloss family – Welcome – it truly does help to be with others who understand and please know we are here for you, we care, hold our paws, lean on us and God Bless.
Luv yas xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Your Cubster, your lil Sis, your Pack Mate, your friend,