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The tired white cat lowered her head slowly, felt the warm tears and love in her fur. �Yes, you do love me, just as I have for so long loved you,� she thought happily as she drifted from her worn and frail body. �I so wanted to please you and make you happy. I did try, but somehow I could not do so many things. At least I was able to hear your music and let you know how wonderful it is to me. When the music flowed from you, you could let your sorrow go and I could forget for a bit how matted and smelling I could get. And you tried so hard to help me keep clean.� She felt her momma�s love wrap around her, warm and soft as she drifted away.
When her eyes opened she found herself in a strange place, but she knew instantly it was a safe and a wonderful place. As she shifted to her feet she found moving was fluid again, and breathing was easy. She wondered to herself if this was the place she had heard called Rainbow Bridge, and then dismissed the idea. No place so special would allow a stinky dirty cat to stay. As she began to look around she saw a huge silvery creature approaching. A large dog? No, a wolf! She looked about for somewhere to be out of everyone�s way.
When he drew close the Silver One spoke, �Why are you trying to be invisible to us Kitn? We are here to welcome you home, and I know several of the angels have been vying to be the first to get to hold you.�
Kitn looked around at those with the Silver One. Many were smiling, but not that smirky smile that meant she was the bad end of a cruel joke � they were happy welcoming smiles, smiles that said she was among friends. Now she was truly confused, and a bit sad. When they got closer they would all make excuses and leave � she had seen this too many times to count. Goldie, a large gold and white tom cat, got to her side first, �Come on beautiful, we will give you the grand tour.� It was all the Silver One could do to not burst into laughter, and beautiful blue eyed husky bumped him and gave him a stern look. �Brother! You are frightening her!�
Kitn looked sadly at Goldie, then at the rest. At length she looked at the Silver One. �I�m sorry I am not who you thought would be here. This place, all of you are so lovely. I know I don�t belong, all matted and smelly, I have tried since I was a tiny kitten to care for myself as my momma cat tried to teach me � somehow it never worked. I will go if you will all only be so kind as to tell me where I belong.� She lowered her head and waited.
Now the Silver One felt tears burn his eyes, he looked around and saw every eye there was wet with tears. �You belong here,� he said softly. �You were born without the correct means to clean your beautiful fur, but you were re-born here perfect little one. Smell the breeze, it is sweet and clean � did you not notice?�
Kitn did notice now that he mentioned it that she could not smell herself as she had for all of her life. The Silver One moved to her side and began to guide her to a small reflecting pond. When they reached the water�s edge she saw her reflection, she looked young and healthy, her white fur was soft and flowing and the whitest white she had ever seen. Her blue eyes glowed with health. Then she realized too she could breathe so easily. �How?� she asked.
The Silver One touched the water gently and her reflection disappeared and the water became as smooth as a perfect mirror. But when Kitn looked into the pond she no longer saw her reflection. The pond seemed to be a window, and she could see momma. Momma was crying, as if her heart would shatter, and Kitn realized that in grieving for her that her momma was finally able to let some of her sorrow and pain go. �Oh Momma. Can I go to her? Comfort her? Please? She alone tried to see me and get past my matted fur and smell, she needs me now.� Kitn looked pleadingly to the Silver One.
�Goldie can show you how to visit her, and I feel others will too,� the Silver One replied, and he smiled as he noticed Fluffy and Muffin pushing forward. �You may even leave signs you are visiting when you learn how. And you can always see her from here at the pond.�
Kitn went back to the edge of the pond and watched her momma with all the love in her heart. �I will always be near Momma. And when you let the music flow I will be sitting right there to catch every note, and I will always ask for yet one more song from you.�
� Candace 2/18/09
Light a candle in memory of Kitn, for all those hurt or lost, for a sick, abused, or special needs furbaby,
or perhaps just someone who needs a prayer and a candle lit.
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